Posts Tagged ‘EFT’

Hi Everyone,

Does your child hate math or any other subject? Chances are there’s a reason behind it that has little or nothing to do with the subject itself. Study Michelle McKinney’s article for a solid approach to this hidden opportunity. She says, “I am grateful for the gift EFT has brought to myself and my children. Think of all the childhood scars that can be healed in the moment! What an opportunity we have.”

Hugs, Gary Craig
from http://www.emofree.com

By Michelle McKinney

Learn EFT Here

Dear Gary,

Here is a reference to an EFT session I had with my 9 yr old daughter who came home one day and announced she hated math!

My daughter sat down at the kitchen table to do her homework. She was fine with practicing her spelling and reading until she came across a math worksheet. She pulled out a worksheet that was designed to help the children learn how to add three columns of numbers and do carry-overs. This was not a totally new concept to learn as she had added two columns together before.

She immediately became very distressed and upset when she showed me the sheet. It was obvious to me that something happened for her to react in that manner! I asked her why she was upset and she said ” I’m not good at math and I hate it!” I wasn’t buying in to this, I knew in my gut that something else was going on. She explained to me that the teacher asked all the children to “stand up” beside their desks when they had completed their worksheets. My daughter said ” All the kids were standing up and I wasn’t even close to being finished! I can’t do math and I hate it!”

I knew what I had to do for her. I immediately took her hand in mine and started tapping on the karate chop point. This isn’t new to her as we often do EFT together. So, I proceeded, tapping each setup three times.

Even though I was the only kid in class today that didn’t stand up because I wasn’t fast enough to finish the math sheet, I’m a great kid anyway.

Even though I felt really stupid (her word) because all the other kids were standing up and they could see that I wasn’t done yet, I’m a great kid anyway.

Even though this made me feel sad (her words), I’m a great kid anyway.

We then did a full round of tapping inter-changing the phrases … I was the only kid not standing up … I wasn’t fast enough and I felt stupid … I felt really sad.

Taking in a deep breath, I then asked her if there was anything else while still tapping the karate chop. Right away she blurted ” I was worried.” I asked about what? ” I was worried that the teacher would get mad at me because I didn’t know how to do the math like the other kids did.”

I felt that this was the core issue for her. The problem for her was being rejected in some way by her teacher. I think her level of intensity went up here for sure as she began to cry. So, I started tapping with her, again saying the setup phrase 3 times.

Even though I was worried that (teacher’s Name) would be angry with me because I didn’t know how to add the three columns, I’m a great kid anyway.

One full round of the reminder phrase: Worried ( Teachers Name ) would be angry with me

We then did a full round changing the reminder phrase:

I was the only one that didn’t stand up

I felt stupid

What would ( Teacher’s Name ) think?

I was so embarrassed

I felt worried ( Teacher’s Name ) would be angry

I was sad that I couldn’t add three columns

It was scary (her words)

What would the other kids think?

I don’t want (Teacher’s Name) to be angry with me

I just wanted to do my best.

She calmed down quite a bit so I felt this was a good place to interchange the negative with some positives. While tapping on the Karate chop:

Even though I was worried (Teacher’s Name) would be angry I really only wanted to do my best and I’m an awesome kid anyway.

Even though I had a hard time adding three columns of math, I will remember that learning something new takes practice, and I can practice any time I want.

Even though it seemed hard to add three columns together I can always ask for help because asking for help shows how smart I really am.

Two rounds of Positives Statements

I want to do my best in math

Learning something new takes practice

I can always ask for help

With a little practice I can do anything

Mom says I can do it

I am smart

I can do it

I’m a good student

I like doing math

I like doing math and I’m awesome!

I then showed her step by step how to add the columns and carry over. She was in a much better state of mind to learn. We had some extra practice sheets at home so I gave her one and asked her to finish it. She did in record time. When she was finished I said “Now you can stand up” and gave her a “High Five”. She was just beaming! Afterwards she hugged me and said ” Mom you’re my Hero.” WOW! How good did that feel!

I am grateful for the gift EFT has brought to myself and my children. Think of all the childhood scars that can be healed in the moment! What an opportunity we have. By the way I haven’t heard any negative statements about math or any other subject at all since this session!

I can’t thank you enough Gary for sharing this incredible healing technique. The world really needs EFT!

Michelle McKinney

Many teachers are excited at the thought of teaching EFT to their students but are hesitant to try for a variety of reasons.  Some worry about objections from parents or administrators, while others are unsure of how to begin.  Here are some simple and practical ideas which I hope will encourage you to try tapping with your students.

When you introduce EFT to your class, make it useful, relevant and fun.  Try to hook as many of your students as possible. Most importantly, ensure that you have developed a strong rapport of trust and caring with your children before you begin.

I find that the best way to teach EFT is through test anxiety.  My students receive a weekly speed test in which they are expected to complete up to 100 basic math facts in addition, subtraction, multiplication or division in less than ten minutes.  After taking these tests for several weeks, we discuss how everyone feels about them. It is always surprising to me how much anxiety these tests create, even in a safe, nurturing environment, where students know that it is absolutely okay to make mistakes.

When asked to show their level of stress with regard to these speed tests, many children hold up ten fingers to signify that their anxiety is extremely high.  This discussion paves the way perfectly for introducing tapping.  I confide to my class that I have recently learned of a wonderful way to deal with my own worries and stresses.

Rapport is critical at this point.  As long as your children trust and respect you they will happily accept the idea of tapping and be willing to give it a try.

I introduce a large picture of a stream amidst a forest, surrounded by wildlife and trees. The stream is a metaphor for our minds.  When we are feeling peaceful and relaxed everything flows smoothly, just as the stream does.  Stress is represented by a detachable tree.  What happens to the stream when the tree falls across it?  The water stops flowing properly, debris builds up around the tree, back eddies form and the bank starts to erode. In other words, the stream no longer flows as it should.  This is exactly what happens in our minds (and bodies) once stress enters our system.

I suggest to my students that if they tap on specific pressure points, which are connected to emotions in our bodies, at the same time as they tune into their feelings, they may be able to relieve some of their anxiety.  In other words, they may be able to remove that “tree” which has entered their mind and is holding them back from achieving their best.

We place stickers on a student’s self portrait to demonstrate specific points to tap on, and then we practice tapping on those points without using any words at all.  Next I ask them to think about that math test once more.

It is important to personalize the tapping and incorporate their own words while you tap, so before you get started, inquire once more about how they are feeling.  Ask them where they are feeling those feelings in their bodies (stomach, throat, heart, etc).

After that, you are ready to begin with a set-up statement.  Add some humour to make it fun and use as many of the children’s words as you can:

Karate Chop: Even though I have to write this speed test and it’s the last thing I want to do…and  I feel stressed and anxious… and my legs are shaking and I feel like I’m going to be sick to my stomach….. I am still an awesome kid!

Continue by tapping on the following points, acknowledging their own thoughts and feelings:

Top of head:  I am SO stressed! I have to write this speed test!

Eyebrow: My legs feel shaky.

Side of Eye: My stomach feels SICK!

Under Eye: My heart is pounding!

Under Nose: My throat feels dry!

Under Lip: What if I fail?

Collar Bone: What if do worse than last week?

Under Arm: What if I don’t get 100%?

Top of Head: I know I am smart.

Eyebrow: But it’s hard to be fast!

Side of Eye: It’s hard to do your best when you’re stressed.

Under Eye: I wish I could let go of this stress.

Under Nose: Let go of this stress…

Under Lip: It feels good to relax…

Collar Bone: Relax…

Under Arm:  I’m just going to give it my best… That’s all I can do….try my best.

Karate Chop: And even if I am not perfect, even if I do make mistakes, I am STILL an awesome kid!

After completing and marking their tests, have your students compare the results with those from the previous week.  Ask them what they notice about the results of both tests.  Hopefully this lesson will allow your students to perceive that tapping can be a very effective tool for helping to relieve anxiety as well as improve test scores.

We tap every week before speed tests, and the results continue to impress us. Two weeks ago, one boy volunteered to tap in front of our class because he had been hampered by worries during his previous test and as a result, had only achieved 63%. His stress level, he stated, was “more than ten”. He informed us that stress made him feel wiggly and squirmy. I added that I had noticed his legs moving a lot during last week’s test. So we tapped on those squirmy legs.  Eventually, after tapping for a round or two, we reframed with, “What if I could transform all of that squirmy leg energy into my pencil….?”

Not only were his legs completely still while writing that test, but to his complete delight, he achieved 97%!

This week he was worried again but for a different reason. So we tapped on “Even though I did so well last week it will be almost impossible for me to get any better…I’ll probably just get worse….”

He was very proud to achieve his first 100% ever!

Before you know it you could be trying EFT on everything in your classroom, from math tests to bullying, to lice ( yes, we have even used EFT for lice.)

And if you feel hesitant or doubtful about whether tapping will be accepted by others in your workplace, listen to your heart and just try it. After all, as teachers, our intention is to give children all the tools and skills and encouragement that we possibly can to allow them to achieve their very best, unencumbered by worries, anxieties and fears. With EFT we not only allow our children to acknowledge, express, accept and release their negative feelings, we teach them to affirm that whatever they are feeling, whatever problems they are experiencing, they are still without a doubt, awesome kids.

Perhaps there is more value in teaching our students how to tap than there is in teaching them to answer 100 math questions in less than ten minutes…

by Dr. Patricia Carrington

A highly informative e-Book by EFT Master, Dr. Patricia Carrington, gives a variety of suggestions on how to apply the acutapping technique, EFT, to exam anxiety and other fears surrounding the taking of tests. Click the link to download this resource.  EFT for Test Anxiety

By Ann Adams

An extensive guide to using EFT with  Children.

Click the link to download this resource.

How To Use EFT With Children

Teaching Kids to Tap
by Ann Adams

Gary Craig’s Introduction:

Ann Adams was the Campus Director at a residential care facility for Severely Emotionally Disturbed children and, as such, has a challenging audience within which to deliver EFT. We can all learn from the story she provides below–even if we are applying EFT to adults. There are many lessons in both rapport and the “art of delivery” in this message. Please study it carefully.

About 4 o’clock, I walked onto the admissions unit. The kids were lining up to go swimming. The newest child, “Kinney,” asked who I was. Then, “What does she do?” [The new kids always want to learn the role of each staff member. They quickly learn and understand the chain of command.] I told him that one of the things I did was to teach kids how they can calm down quickly when they don’t want to be upset.

Kinney is tall for 13. He has light brown hair and a pair of sad eyes that competed for the saddest I’ve ever seen. He expressed immediate interest: “Can you teach me?”

“Sure.”

“Harvey,” a slender, African American nine year old in perpetual motion, was in line behind him: I want to know too.

“OK.”

“Ryan,” 11, one of those absolutely adorable blond headed, blue-eyed children with impeccable manners – very RARE for our agency – spoke next. “Ma’m, if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to learn about that too.” “No problem,” I said, “I’ll teach all three of you after supper.”

When I returned to the unit the three boys immediately came up to me. “Teach me now,” said Ryan. We sat down on the couches and I told them that what we were going to learn was something that calmed people down very quickly most of the time–that it sometimes worked better when you worked with someone else but that it was something they could use for themselves, by themselves.

I said this really makes use of things we already do to make ourselves feel better but using this process we can focus what we do and make it work much better. Showing them as I went, I then asked if they had done any of the following: Palm to head, hand to chest, head in hands, rubbing under eye and under nose, wringing hands, chewing on fingers, rubbing back of hand. They all nodded. Harvey, Mr. Perpetual Motion, started showing everyone how he bites his nails!

GC COMMENT: This is a superb verbal bridge to help these kids make sense of these procedures.

ANN CONTINUES: I told them this is a way to use all those motions together while thinking about what they were upset about. And that most of the time it made the upset feelings better and lots of times the bad feelings were just gone. I had their attention – well, except Harvey – who had changed seats already five times. I decided to try the Cook’s Hook Up exercise to see if it would quiet him. He could not even hold his hands together long enough to follow the instructions. He wandered off – ah well, another day.

I asked Ryan and Kinney if anything had happened to upset them today. Neither could think of anything. This is often the case when I teach it to kids ‘cold’. My primary goal is to familiarize them with the process. Many times, the next interaction I have with them is: “Hey Miss Ann, will you do the tapping stuff with me. I’m mad/upset/sad.”

Harvey then wanders back and grabs at Ryan’s arm. Ryan shoves him away angrily saying to me: “Yeah, I got a problem; peers that provoke me. I get frustrated.” [We teach a whole new lexicon to young children: peers provoke, boundaries, negativity, levels, color drops, etc.]

Kinney also says he has a problem. “You don’t have to tell me, but do you want to share it?” I said. Kinney then tells me a very sad story of a mom in jail for drugs and how worried he is about her and that she also has ulcer problems and that he misses her. [There are many, many such sad stories in our residential facility. Wish I could teach all the moms and dads how to tap!]

I explained how problems were like puzzles and that puzzles have a lot of pieces. That the first step was to think about your problem and then pick what piece of it you want to work on. Then, when that piece of the problem was fixed you would pick another piece until all the bad feelings were gone.

GC COMMENT: An excellent metaphor!! Creative approaches like this often spell the difference between cooperative and uncooperative children/clientsANN CONTINUES: I told Kinney that his problem had a lot of pieces. He would need to tap for a lot of pieces of this problem. We talked about what his pieces might be. I said we also feel our problems physically in our body and when we were thinking about what piece of the puzzle we wanted to work on it helped to check out where we feel that feeling in our body. His hand went straight to his heart.

We talked about how to figure out how much the problem bothers them. I showed them the arms outstretched method, counting from 10 to 0 as I moved my arms in to the prayer position.

Harvey wanders back into the group and sits. Lisa, an old hand at tapping comes to watch and adds her two cents: “I’ve done this, too.”

“Hi, Lisa, yes you have. Does it work?” “Yeah,” says Lisa. “I like it.”

“Well, you pick a problem you want to work on with us.”

“Let’s do it,” I said to the group. We tapped the side of the hand with simple set ups: “Even though I am sad about my mom/angry about my peer provoking me, I am a good kid.” I modeled each point. We used the finger points, too. I skipped the nine gamuts. We repeated the steps.

Harvey tries to tap but gets bored and leaves again. [It takes several times to get a child like Harvey through the entire process.] Lisa says: “You didn’t tap the gamut spot.” She tells Kinney; “That’s a good point for depression.” [As a child learns more about the process one of the things I do is to label each point with a feeling. [Dr. John Diamond's thing. Who knows if that is accurate but the kids like it!]

Melanie comes to join us. “You are doing that tapping stuff!”

“Yeah. You used it lately?” “No,” Melanie says, “I forgot.”

I smiled at her and said “It’s great stuff; we’ll go over it again.” Kris comes up and sits down. I smiled at him as he started tapping the side of his hand – “See,” he said.

I asked Ryan if the tapping fixed his being “frustrated at being provoked by my peer.” He nods and smiles: “Harvey’s just being stupid.”

I looked at Kinney: “Did it help any?” “Well,” he said, “I am not upset about it right now.”

“Tell me again which spot is for depression?” He looked into my eyes with such sadness mixed with hope that I wished I had been able to work with him individually longer.

One of the downsides of being the campus director is that I actually have little time with any one child. I work with a child in need and teach as many as I can. I have classes with the staff once a quarter and work with them to reinforce the children using the process. I teach the children EFT in groups not only because of my time constraints but also because it normalizes the process for the children to see other children tapping.

Ryan asks if I can write the steps down for him. Usually I have to suggest that! Since each child has a journal, I sent them to get their journal from their room. They did. In the six small journals of the six small children we wrote:

1. Think about your problem.

2. Pick one piece you want to work on.

3. Tap the side of your hand. Etc.

I usually end the finger points with tapping the side of the hand again and then the gamut spot. Why? No scientific reason, not even a good clinical reason.

Surprisingly, even Harvey brought his journal and actually sat there as I helped him write the steps. Each child either wrote the steps or asked me to. Ryan said: “What should I call it?”

“What would you like to call it?”

“I’ll call it Ryan’s Thinking Process,” he said.

Update: I saw Kinney at lunch the next day. He told me he had started getting depressed last night so he tried the tapping. “It really works!” He told me with surprise in his voice.

Ann Adams